robin who?
30 May 2010 10:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mayoraaseiSo recently I went and watched Robin Hood (also known as Gladiator of the Dark Ages) on a spur of moment decision with friends.
The conclusions are: 1) Don't watch movies on spur of the moment and 2) SMH reviews are usually right.
It is only the second movie where I sniggered out loud at the most climatic, tension-charged, dramatic scene. The first movie was Star Wars III and Darth Vader's famous "Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!"
(Twilight doesn't count because that movie is comedy.)
Although I'm generally unimpressed with Russell Crowe (and YES he does have a funny Scottish accent - but Crowe would not be Crowe if he did not chuck a hissy fit at the suggestion), I'm usually quite enamoured with Cate Blanchett, but really...that mousy brown doesn't work on her. It managed to reduce the normally radiant Blanchett into a sour-faced, unremarkableOBASAN village woman.
And yet, Marion is nothing like your average medieval village woman. She can ride, she can snark, she can swashbuckle - she can even kill without so much as a blink. In fact, there is so much buttock prodding coming from Marion that she might have been a Discworld heroine...if only the movie didn't take itself so damn seriously.
The movie tries to put the legend back into history, but having never been a history buff myself the references to Richard the Lionheart and King John and King Philip and the Magna Carta all flew past without sticking. The movie painted King John as a puerile, jealous man-boy - but the funny thing is even though King John was a most unpopular king who led England into a series of defeats, he was also sharp and ruthless and supposedly a just man.
What did stick was all these random people riding horses - bloody expensive beauties they were, too, when surely it costs half a village to keep one. Where the hell did Marion learn to fight anyway? Why does she wear such a long robe when working in the fields? Does ten years really change a man so much that the entire hamlet is willing to accept a stranger into his shoes? Orz
The movie hinges too much on these improbably twists of logic and asks the audience to dispense too much of their disbelief. I refuse to believe that an old, level-headed, intelligent and worldly marshal would be so STUPID to announce to the King (knowing his temperament) that the men were celebrating for the sake of Robin Hood - especially when he did NOTHING, as far as the men were concerned.
And the most climatic moment I sniggered at? *SPOILERS*
Robin rises after nearly drowning from the ocean in a splash of salt water, draws his wet bowstring and fires an arrow in a spray of water, which flies more than 200 metres to shoot a man riding on horseback through the neck.
Oh, I love a good dose of drama any day but...PLEASE, keep it for science fiction or fantasy.
If you're trying to tote yourself as historical fiction, at least get basic physics correct.
I am no archer but bows and arrows are notoriously unreliable even in the best of conditions. That's why archers have to be so calm and steady to be able to hit their targets. Any projectile that is ejected along with a thousand droplets of water and buffeted by high winds is NOT going to fly straight.
And the neck is such a bloody small target too.
It is not wholly bad. The pace is quite enjoyable, even though I thought it dragged in the middle where they tried to build the relationship between Robin and Marion. You get to see your money's worth in cruel and unusual ways of dying, in any case.
I had a dream this morning where a ship (yes, a sailing ship) dropped from the sky and crashed in the distance in a 100 meter mountain of flames. And then the sky began to rain concrete shrapnel.
Hrm.
The conclusions are: 1) Don't watch movies on spur of the moment and 2) SMH reviews are usually right.
It is only the second movie where I sniggered out loud at the most climatic, tension-charged, dramatic scene. The first movie was Star Wars III and Darth Vader's famous "Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!"
(Twilight doesn't count because that movie is comedy.)
Although I'm generally unimpressed with Russell Crowe (and YES he does have a funny Scottish accent - but Crowe would not be Crowe if he did not chuck a hissy fit at the suggestion), I'm usually quite enamoured with Cate Blanchett, but really...that mousy brown doesn't work on her. It managed to reduce the normally radiant Blanchett into a sour-faced, unremarkable
And yet, Marion is nothing like your average medieval village woman. She can ride, she can snark, she can swashbuckle - she can even kill without so much as a blink. In fact, there is so much buttock prodding coming from Marion that she might have been a Discworld heroine...if only the movie didn't take itself so damn seriously.
The movie tries to put the legend back into history, but having never been a history buff myself the references to Richard the Lionheart and King John and King Philip and the Magna Carta all flew past without sticking. The movie painted King John as a puerile, jealous man-boy - but the funny thing is even though King John was a most unpopular king who led England into a series of defeats, he was also sharp and ruthless and supposedly a just man.
What did stick was all these random people riding horses - bloody expensive beauties they were, too, when surely it costs half a village to keep one. Where the hell did Marion learn to fight anyway? Why does she wear such a long robe when working in the fields? Does ten years really change a man so much that the entire hamlet is willing to accept a stranger into his shoes? Orz
The movie hinges too much on these improbably twists of logic and asks the audience to dispense too much of their disbelief. I refuse to believe that an old, level-headed, intelligent and worldly marshal would be so STUPID to announce to the King (knowing his temperament) that the men were celebrating for the sake of Robin Hood - especially when he did NOTHING, as far as the men were concerned.
And the most climatic moment I sniggered at? *SPOILERS*
Robin rises after nearly drowning from the ocean in a splash of salt water, draws his wet bowstring and fires an arrow in a spray of water, which flies more than 200 metres to shoot a man riding on horseback through the neck.
Oh, I love a good dose of drama any day but...PLEASE, keep it for science fiction or fantasy.
If you're trying to tote yourself as historical fiction, at least get basic physics correct.
I am no archer but bows and arrows are notoriously unreliable even in the best of conditions. That's why archers have to be so calm and steady to be able to hit their targets. Any projectile that is ejected along with a thousand droplets of water and buffeted by high winds is NOT going to fly straight.
And the neck is such a bloody small target too.
It is not wholly bad. The pace is quite enjoyable, even though I thought it dragged in the middle where they tried to build the relationship between Robin and Marion. You get to see your money's worth in cruel and unusual ways of dying, in any case.
I had a dream this morning where a ship (yes, a sailing ship) dropped from the sky and crashed in the distance in a 100 meter mountain of flames. And then the sky began to rain concrete shrapnel.
Hrm.
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Date: 2010-05-31 08:14 am (UTC)Oh God. I have only seen literally a minute or less of the second Twilight movie - clearing the last dishes off the table while my family watched it in the adjoining lounge - and that was enough for me to see what everybody meant about Kristen Stewart's acting. I just about died.
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Date: 2010-05-31 12:48 pm (UTC)On another note, I'm glad that your dreams are still so consistently weird and entertaining =D
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Date: 2010-05-31 12:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-02 01:02 pm (UTC)I haven't see the movie, but it cannot be worse that the recent BBC version. I was hanging on purely for Richard Armitage but...Orz.