![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
your horoscope for 2007
30 Dec 2006 12:55 amAries
This year will bring new opportunities for adventure and pioneering previously unnavigated shores. Freedom-advocator to the end, you challenge the oppression on the choice to die freely by leaping off the harbour bridge, Sydney.
Taurus
Your earthiness entices others to walk over you. Beware of over-indulgence, as that may bring you closer to the bosom of Mother Earth, to whom all life returns eventually. Except where global explosion is involved.
Gemini
Your conversations with your other imaginary self makes for impressive slapstick comedy but draws a dishonourable mention (and medical attention) after an attempt to poison each other with home-made curry chicken.
Cancer
You capitalise on your natural emotional wangstage and ability to procure sympathy through coercion by proportionating your mope factor to each carbon dioxide molecule in the atmosphere. You sad thing, you.
Leo
Your alluring confidence is like flame to moths. You wake up lonely and frustrated because what drew them to you has burned them to cinders...leaving you to do all the vacuuming.
Virgo
Your desire for perfection inspires you to journey into space to find perfect darkness, but you discover that not even black holes are perfectly black. Or perhaps it's just hard to tell from the inside.
Libra
You spend the year trying to balance things on your head and conclude twelve months later that neither the Earth nor your head is flat.
Scorpio
You own McDonalds and CocaCola. Soon you will succeed where so many others before have failed. Soon the world shall be yours. Yours alone. Nya! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Sagittarius
Be spare with your hypocrisy, for if your love for the great outdoors does not kill you first by grace of a leaping marine creature, you will incite sinful thoughts of murderous intent in your associates.
Capricorn
You defined the word capricious, so take care not to define corny, although, worry not, for your emotional frigidity is to corny what Antarctica is to corn, just without the penguins.
Aquarius
In the age of technology, your communication skills find a vast range of outlets for your voice to be heard. This is an excellent year for you to embark on a mission to inspire in your listeners an appreciation for the "off" button.
Pisces
Your inherent ability to hallucinate will bring you trouble, for not only is it not accepted as an explanation for the results of your procrastination, authorities are also not convinced that a) you are not on drugs and b) you do not need drugs.
luna_rainbow claims no responsibility if any of the above is realised. She will, however, have a hearty laugh. At your expense.
This year will bring new opportunities for adventure and pioneering previously unnavigated shores. Freedom-advocator to the end, you challenge the oppression on the choice to die freely by leaping off the harbour bridge, Sydney.
Taurus
Your earthiness entices others to walk over you. Beware of over-indulgence, as that may bring you closer to the bosom of Mother Earth, to whom all life returns eventually. Except where global explosion is involved.
Gemini
Your conversations with your other imaginary self makes for impressive slapstick comedy but draws a dishonourable mention (and medical attention) after an attempt to poison each other with home-made curry chicken.
Cancer
You capitalise on your natural emotional wangstage and ability to procure sympathy through coercion by proportionating your mope factor to each carbon dioxide molecule in the atmosphere. You sad thing, you.
Leo
Your alluring confidence is like flame to moths. You wake up lonely and frustrated because what drew them to you has burned them to cinders...leaving you to do all the vacuuming.
Virgo
Your desire for perfection inspires you to journey into space to find perfect darkness, but you discover that not even black holes are perfectly black. Or perhaps it's just hard to tell from the inside.
Libra
You spend the year trying to balance things on your head and conclude twelve months later that neither the Earth nor your head is flat.
Scorpio
You own McDonalds and CocaCola. Soon you will succeed where so many others before have failed. Soon the world shall be yours. Yours alone. Nya! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Sagittarius
Be spare with your hypocrisy, for if your love for the great outdoors does not kill you first by grace of a leaping marine creature, you will incite sinful thoughts of murderous intent in your associates.
Capricorn
You defined the word capricious, so take care not to define corny, although, worry not, for your emotional frigidity is to corny what Antarctica is to corn, just without the penguins.
Aquarius
In the age of technology, your communication skills find a vast range of outlets for your voice to be heard. This is an excellent year for you to embark on a mission to inspire in your listeners an appreciation for the "off" button.
Pisces
Your inherent ability to hallucinate will bring you trouble, for not only is it not accepted as an explanation for the results of your procrastination, authorities are also not convinced that a) you are not on drugs and b) you do not need drugs.
luna_rainbow claims no responsibility if any of the above is realised. She will, however, have a hearty laugh. At your expense.
