mayoraasei: There is no such thing as coincidence (Default)
So anyway, saw another cat today, and at first it was a little scared, but after I patted it, it ran up and stuck to my legs and kept rubbing its head and I was like "NOOO" and then it ran away. But it kept loitering about and it was so sweet-tempered even when I pulled its tail a few times. LOL. And then the toddler who stood there watching us sprayed pee out of his nappies. It was like those fountains. He looked like such a cherub.

The weather here has turned glorious again. I realised I could see the ocean from my toilet HAHA. It looks pretty boring, I do not understand why people want plain waterviews. The doctors here are fully old-school. They're probably the ones who can pat themselves on the back knowing they've spent their live being real doctors...and I actually don't mean that in a sarcastic sense. I think us measly medical students can only aspire to doing anywhere near half the stuff they've done in their lifetime.

In old news, I think I came to terms with my harddisk dying...which means I lost pretty much all of my writing, especially the ones I haven't sent around to people...namely the bits that tells me what I'm supposed to write next Orz Thank god I've managed to get what I have sent around back from people T-T

I think the latest chapter/edition of Next Assignment is gone forever. So are those Fealty prequel and sequel I started on. I actually had the whole sequel all planned out, and it's now gone. GONE! It's gone from my head too, so I actually do need them Orz

Fortunately I had copied out all of Vivant's story, but there was one and a half chapters I wrote back in year 11 or something about Vivant that may or may not exist on another computer =/

And the story I started in year 8...the one that predated everything...I don't know if I still have an electronic copy of it, although I do have the printed version, which must have sacrificed at least a small bush >_>;;;;

...I can't even begin to remember how many drawings I must have lost T___T I do not have backups for those TT___TT
mayoraasei: There is no such thing as coincidence (Default)
For those who want to know what's going on with my life these days...rest assured there's nothing much. I need to start cramming. It's a sad fact of med student life that one should start cramming preferably 1 year before an exam. Unfortunately, at the moment I'm approximately 10.5 months too late.

I'm also currently reading Douglas Adams' trilogy of four. What is it about life that makes people who are farther along such embittered souls? LOL. I swear both Adams and Pratchett started off a lot more sillier and therefore light-hearted than their works ended up being.

But wow, that immortal alien who went around alphabetically insulting everyone in the known universe. That is actually kinda awesome, especially when you really don't have much else to do with your time.

I grazed my knee on Thursday because my foot isn't adapted to walking on small round objects. I am almost entirely certain that it's not meant to be oozing green...whatever it is. Because the graze is actually bigger than any bandaid I have on hand, I had to wrap it in crepe bandage and it looks very important in spite of being nothing more than a graze. And because of the bandage and the habit of wounds trying to contract while they heal, I've been subjected to the annoying inconvenience of being unable to bend my knee, which is a bigger inconvenience than one realises, especially when one's life involves navigating stairs. And sitting down.

Anyhow, today I went with a friend to a Taiwanese restaurant in Hurstville, which is probably called Diamond Cafe. I highly discommend anyone from going (and I suspect I'm using the word discommend with the wrong syntax). The taste was passable but not good, the serving size was passable but not big, and the cost was passable but not cheap. Three passables make a very big BLEH. I also think that restaurants should be banned from calling the dish "Three Cups Sauce" when they neglect to include the basil.

Mmmm...yes, and I'd also like a piano.
mayoraasei: There is no such thing as coincidence (Default)
So yesterday I got an email informing me that I passed everything, yes including that horrid anatomy exam, much to my awe and surprise and various other synonyms for astonishment. So assuming they didn't post it to the wrong email address, it's all good and over. Although I will be taking out my anatomy book and staring at it every now and then, just so I won't have to go through the same hell again next year. It will be on my resolutions.

And after I proceeded to spread the good news, all I received were responses that ranged from nothing to "huh". What! Can youse not see I have been losing sleep over this?! I demand more sympathy! More enthusiasm! More ice-cream!! LOL!!

There was a weird car parked in front of our house last night that made these weird windscreen wiper noises, but the car wasn't running and the windscreen wipers weren't moving =/ We ended up calling the police. Not sure if they did anything...but at about 1am, a bunch of people came and started kicking the car really hard and yelling at it to stop, and after a while it went silent =/

Moral of the story: when all else fails, kick the damn thing.

I think med is making me docile. I miss my sarcasm (everyone: WHAT?)

Apparently, according to an article in SMH the other day (a reliable source of evidence-based medicine, I'm sure), it is said that the inability to sense sarcasm is an indicator of frontal lobe dementia. Or some form of dementia anyway.

I wonder what that means since some cultures don't even have the word for sarcasm. Chinese doesn't.

Interestingly, Chinese also didn't have the word for "humour". Hierarchical society makes for such...drollness of character, huh.

Incidentally, I think you know someone has worked enough time in the geriatrics department when they don't crack a smile upon hearing someone described as "demented". Yes...Concord has many old, demented patients =/

I must say, I think I'm drifting away from anime. I still download stuff, but the only one I actually watch now is Gundam 00, and I think that's only because I don't want to leave things unfinished =__=; I'm not drifting away from manga, so I don't think it's a sign of me drifting away from that part of the, uh, world, if you like.

And I really should stop collecting J-drama that I never get around to watching =__=;;;

On the other hand, I'm really looking forward to next season's dramas~~~ Practically all my favourite actors will be in something~ =D Eita~ Toma~ (together!!) Kame~ Tamaki~ Mizushima~ Sato~ Maru~ Ohno~~~~

Actually I'm kind of meh about Sato, since I only know him from Bloody Monday, in which he has an almost non-existant role ==; I'm also meh about Kame, since he can't act, and Maru, for the same reason. I hope Mizushima's role is less lecherous than his last ones, or he's really working himself into a niche =___=;;;;

Ohno's new drama doesn't sound interesting. Well, I think it's pretty hard to measure up to Maou to start with, but he seems to have gone back to his familiar comedies. What a waste of an awesome acting talent. I hope Maou isn't the only definitive drama that Leader does in his lifetime =/ (One day, I hope Chinen will be in something with Leader. It'll be so cute ♥)

Tamaki's stuff since Nodame have all been rather...indescribable for me. Hope this one's good, but it has the potential to be really, really bad Orz

So in summary, it seems that the only one I'll want to watch is the EitaXToma Eita and Toma one. It's a Gekku too~!


Edit: As you can see, have gone back to flexible squares. At least it's easier to customise ==;;; This colour scheme is very...edible, which hadn't exactly been the intention. Oh well.

 

gah

28 Nov 2008 04:24 pm
mayoraasei: There is no such thing as coincidence (Allen)
Is. Depressed.

*Cries*

Going to start preparing for the make-up exam now T___T Well. Tomorrow.

Or next week.

Don't worry, I'm still okay.

You'll definitely know when I turn into a neurotically world-hating depressive when the this LJ starts oozing black and red angst out of your screen =P
mayoraasei: There is no such thing as coincidence (Allen)
Just need to vent.

RAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*#$&#(@&$#(*$&@(*&$#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I mean I've known from second year med-sci that I suck in anatomy (this I found out after doing dismally in 2 subjects I thought was quite simple, and somehow breezing through biochem, which I didn't/don't understand).

I hate it when you can't judge how you went in an exam.

STUPID ANATOMY. I mean it's not ANATOMY's fault that I suck at it, but bloody dried out prosections and bad lighting and pegs stuck on god-knows-where and not being allowed to touch the specimens to orientate yourself and that place could either be a tonsil, a muscle or the bloody nasopharynx, for the sake of the argument.

I mean, if you gave me the entire leg/arm and 10 minutes I could probably name you all the arteries and veins and nerves and muscles (major ones anyway) that's there, but when you point to a specific band of white it's just......wtf........that could be a tendon, a stretched out nerve, a dried out vein or a really flat artery. Or a piece of unremoved skin.

ARGH.

DEPRESSED.

Don't bother commenting on this post (you can't, anyway). RAARRRGH.

Looks like I'll be studying after the exams in preparations for the supplementary.

(On the subject of depression, according to our lecture notes, one of the symptoms of depression is hypochondria, so I wonder if diagnosing yourself with clinical depression automatically qualifies you for clinical depression. LOL.)

dooooooom

11 Nov 2008 09:55 pm
mayoraasei: There is no such thing as coincidence (Allen)
I have always been firmly of the Mr Jones school of thought when it comes to exams - which is it's never too late to be cramming.

I've never started stressing out this early before an exam. The exam is 2 weeks away! In undergrad, that was practically stuvac and forever!

I think I'm stressing out most because everyone else around me is stressed out, and I know that I'm not as organised as some people, and the fact that these OCs (that is, obsessive-compulsives) are more stressed out than I am is reason enough to be stressed out.

There's also the majorly frustrating fact that we have looong classes up until 4 days before the first exam, which doesn't help.

The jacarandas bloomed a month ago. It is therefore more than a month too late to study.

As I sit and look at my stack of notes - two folders thick and still not complete, I realise that the human brain was not created/evolved to contain this much information. Surely.

And I'm only in the first year of a long haul T___T

Therefore...the key to passing this exam must be to decipher the time-space continuum, thereby allowing me an extra 20 years to study.

Ahh. One can dream. (Were I American, one day it may become reality....XD)
mayoraasei: There is no such thing as coincidence (Default)
(This post is looooong, sorry about the spam)

While on the train today, I remembered something that really annoyed me.

It's something I remember now and again, and it never ceases to annoy me =__= I really need to get over it.

And then I realised something. Year 8 was the only year where I absolutely hated English. Okay, every other year I hated the public speaking part of English, but I hated English in year 8. I hated my two English teachers, one who couldn't give clear instructions and another who made patronising assumptions.

The me of now, who's used to lecturer and course evaluations, can point out so many things wrong with the teaching. The requirements of assessments were not explained, nor was it made known to us, the standards of assessments were not known, the teacher herself had a strong Indian accent that was almost incomprehensible, and yet she tells us "you neeed to prrrrronoooounce your words cleearrrly." She tells us to make a Shakespeare scrapbook and stick everything we find in it. When we do exactly that, she spent one entire period yelling at us for not doing what she asks. "Don't just stick whatever you find in it!" ...Umm, get your head checked for Alzheimer's, lady.

It was that stage of life when you become too smart for an adult's expectations. For the sake of simplicity, let's call the two teachers P and M. For a speech we did for M, after I had given mine, she sarcastically said, "I don't want you to come up here and read something you copied from the encyclopedia."

.....I'll take that as a compliment. I wrote every bloody word myself.

For an article I wrote into the scrapbook for P, remarked, "Have you any idea what you just copied?"

.....I DIDN'T COPY IT, YOU LOSERS.

I'm not sure if that's when I started hating my school. There's so many other factors too.

I wonder if year 9 was so much easier because my results went down. That's why I really liked the three years I spent in NSG. That's why I'm kind of sad I didn't do as well as I could have in that school, but NSG gave me so much freedom. It wasn't even the whole idea of "being in a school where everyone's really smart", because there's heaps of very intelligent high-achievers in St George, who do so much better than me at a lot of subjects.

It was that at NSG I could do as well or as badly as I wanted. It was a school where I could get the top mark in the grade (albeit only once =P) and have people come up to me and sincerely say, "Good work. Well done."

Maybe it's because people have matured by then, they know their worth isn't measured by their school marks. So what if you do better than me on one exam? I can do better than you on another. So what if you do better than me on all exams? I am happy in other ways.

I'm not articulate in these things. Maybe that's what I should have said back then. But for the younger me, I remember how claustrophobic that world was getting. I ran away to NSG, and maybe my HSC results did suffer, but it's a part of my life I treasure.

I treasure how Jones or even Robert-Smith would stand up in front of the year 11s and 12s and tell us to choose what we want to do, instead of as in other selective schools, tell us to not do something because we're not good enough to pull up the school marks.

It's those talks that allowed me to do 4U English, the only thing (and bio) that made me last through the HSC year. Looking back now, does HSC marks even matter any more? I got in the 70s for HSC chemistry, but high distinctions for university chem...and trust me, if you think shipwrecks and salvage is hell, in uni it's covered (in greater depth) in less than 10 lectures.

...I've really diverged from my original topic. I guess year 8 and 9 is that age when you're growing too fast for those around you to deal with it. I hated the patronisation. Maybe that's why one of my favourite manga of all time is Kodomo no Omacha (and Gakuen Alice, which is very similar), because neither of them assumes children are idiots.

It's a time when the world starts clearing for you. Suddenly the people you've always respected as being an absolute authority are flawed and unreasonable personalities. It's a time of rebellious scorn, because suddenly adults are no longer invincible in their superior knowledge, yet they continue to assume that role.

For many reasons, it's these feelings and thoughts that I don't want to forget.

Because I really hate fictional teenage main characters who has all the personality and intelligence of a beheaded boar. It screams condescension on so many levels and brings back these bad memories.

Because while at that age you might be ignorant and inexperienced, your morals and intelligence and personality are already settling. At that age, people have the mind to decide for themselves, and sometimes in that youthful optimism, they see the world clearer than those too engrossed with the material world.

Maybe that's my abiding principle for my characters.

Because though I hated P, I remember this she said - "intelligence comes with nature, knowledge comes with learning, and wisdom comes with experience".

By that age, teens are old enough to exercise their first gifts.

Disclaimer: Yeah, I'm also well aware that stupid teenagers exist and may well in fact be the larger majority. I also realise that sentence just now made absolutely no sense whatsoever, because larger = majority. But at least give the smart ones some credit.
mayoraasei: There is no such thing as coincidence (Allen)
Am currently embittered that my sleep-in day has been ruthlessly snatched from me because plumber needs to come in and look at blocked drain.

*Weeps melodramatically*

Damn. It's also my "save money on lunch" day.

Guess I'll have to have lunch at uni, where the food sucks.

Am firmly convinced of my intolerance for opioids (that includes caffeine and morphine, for you people who can't be bothered wiki-ing).

Other side effects of caffeine overuse include: dizziness, tachycardia, blurred vision, drowsiness, dry mouth, flushed dry skin, diuresis, loss of appetite, nausea and stomachaches.

Yeah......And I only use caffeine about once a week.

Anxiety levels shot through the roof today and got all jumpy and nervous for no reason. Heart rate went up to nearly 90...which is still normal range, but my normal heartrate's usually around 70!!

Theobromine (12%): Dilates blood vessels and increases urine volume.

AHA!!!! I KNEW I wasn't imagining the side effects of drinking caffeinated, uh, drinks and needing to go more often!!!! (There's also a longer paragraph describing the activation of the hypothalamus-pituitary-adrenal axis, which I'm sure no one wants to read about.)

Apparently caffeine also stimulates stomach acid secretion. I'm not sure what that means (doesn't that make you more hungry?) but I always lose my appetite after drinking caffeine.

It's not that I don't get hungry. It's the additive sickening effect of being hungry and not wanting to eat at the same time.

One day I'll get up early enough to watch Naruto on TV.

HAHAHA.

Hey, at least then I can say "I've watched one episode of Naruto."

.....................Why would I want to say that? =/
mayoraasei: There is no such thing as coincidence (Killua)
Strange bruise-like discolourations keep appearing on my lower right arm (never on my left Oo;). I say bruise-like because they don't actually hurt, not even when I touch or press them. I say bruise-like because the discolouration goes through a number of different colour phases that apparently corresponds to the different phases of breakdown of bilirubin. Or was it haemoglobin? I think it was haemoglobin.

I think there must be something wrong with the computer desk.

Either that or they have some religious significance >_>; Hoh~


In other news, Saiyuki is TEH cool. But I prefer the manga.

Ouch

16 Feb 2004 07:56 pm
mayoraasei: There is no such thing as coincidence (Default)
Just got my wisdom tooth out, complete with two stitches and too much blood ~~;;; And I'm banned from food for 3 hours..noooo....

Fiona has a very good rant on her blog about the new wave of domain hosts. Considering buying domains and space is cheaper and simpler than ever these days, and a lot of people own multiple domains (as Belinda pointed out in one of her blog entries from a long time ago...) without either needing or caring for them.

Ack, my gum is dying on me...noo....anaesthetic is wearing off....

(Will write more when I'm not moaning like a lost lamb...oh heck, the X imagery in that)

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