mayoraasei: There is no such thing as coincidence (Default)
在杉菜和道明斯大人幸福的婚禮舉行完后~~ )

I can't believe I wrote so much ==;;;; Hope you found at least some of it funny =P
mayoraasei: There is no such thing as coincidence (Default)
with the world if a (self-proclaimed) 40-year-old lady, married with a boy and a girl and a respectable job, writes fanfics of Snape x Hermione disposition.

And she's an NCIS fan ToT

......Ten has already started their advertising for House and NCIS and Supernatural. Damn it!! I want to watch! But I don't think they (except Supernatural) be back for at least another month.
mayoraasei: There is no such thing as coincidence (Allen)
"And my animal is a dragon." Jackie said.
"Right." Dumbledore said.
"What's mine?" Harry asked.
"Lightning." Dumbledore said.


*Sniggers*

She was screaming, Sirius's mother was screaming, the other portraits in the hall were screaming... it was very noisy.

At least it clears up that they weren't screaming noiselessly.

Severus made the male pregnancy potion...[which]...creates a womb and ovaries inside of me, but they have to be created from scratch with only some genetic material.

Oooh oooh! Someone trying to bring in logic to mpreg!!! So so where does the womb connect to? The (for mpreg-ficcers) all-purpose anus? Or does the potion include an aside of vagina and cervix? ......................I'm getting a really really disturbing image of a human with multiple sexual organs............................

I'd laugh if the side effects of pregnancy hormones made...whoever this guy was...have a permanent problem of enlarged breasts. (Pregnancy does make your breast epithelial cells differentiate fully, which is why everyone should have their first baby before the age of 29 to lower their chance of breast cancer. Yeah.)

(Or so the pathology textbook says.)

He was wearing a black suite with a red rose showing from the pocket of his suite jacket.

*Tries hard not to envision someone wearing a bathroom*

your my own god damn brother"i said almost shouting." im only brother by blood" he panted.

...........Only.............
mayoraasei: There is no such thing as coincidence (Default)
The classic of all Mary-Sue parody classics

Requires working knowledge of what happened in Fellowship of the Ring (movie knowledge sufficient) and concept of Mary-Sue.

Finally manage to dig this link up out of the dust XDDD It's still funny the fifth time around.
mayoraasei: There is no such thing as coincidence (Default)
This excerpt quite literally induced tears to spring to my eyes:
Draco's POV
I don't regret anything I did with the Mudblood. She deserves it for being vulnerably cute.
I really thought she will be a successful career woman after Hogwarts. She was the brightest among all of us for crying out loud! And she got me always second best!
So, why was she standing in the middle of the rain with those skimpy clothes? What was she thinking? In the middle of a dark street full of deranged people who gets a kick of taking women down for a night.
Being the heartless, handsome, most eligible bachelor that I am, I couldn't leave someone I know out there. Even if it's a filthy, beautiful Mudblood whore.


...

There was something off about his voice. It sounded quite wrong, not at all like his usual sultry, and scathing, tones.
Nonononononono!!!!!!!!! Only Lymond can sound both sultry and scathing in the same breath!!!! *Cries*

there were mounds of chocolate frogs heaped up in every available nook, aside from the four seats that the stunning men were planted in.
...Ewwww.....mounds of chocolate frogs...and planted men?!?!

They had seven boys ( it was a family tradition)
...Amongst the strangest family traditions I've seen....

Then they turned the corner and. Dum Dum Dum.
I knew it!! I knew it was coming!!! A Harry Potter fanfic with its own background music!!

LOOK AWAY, SNAPE FANS
They randomly stepped out of the common room only to be intercepted by the evil Lotions master,Professor Snap [...] who made odd noises when he walked and smelled like lilacs.

Finally, descriptors that make one sound sooooo attractive....
emerald green eyes that jumped out at anybody, pouty lips that made her look like a fish and chocolate brown eyes that would make any woman a chocoholic

...I think I'm off chocolate for a week.
mayoraasei: (Ugh)
I doubt anyone actually reads stuff on ANN (Anime News Network) except to find out who's starring in your current favourite anime >__>;;

On the new Answerman column, a reader has sent in a rant - a thinly veiled wailing complaint - about the lack of yuri content on the internet, compared to yaoi.

My response? GET OUT THERE AND CREATE SOME, YOU MORONIC LOBSTER.

The overwhelming majority of yaoi is fan-created - that includes Japan-released doujinshi. Quality aside, the sheer volume exists simply because fans 1) exist and 2) they support the growth by contributing to it.

It's ridiculous complaining about the quality and quantity of yaoi in one breath. The fact that the quality appears bad is because of the overwhelming quantity written by screaming fangirls under the age of 15.

Furthermore, both yaoi and yuri have the same principle; they are two sides of the same coin. However, a coin is supposed to land on both sides an equal number of times when flipped. Guess what, it's not.

...That is the most ridiculous comparison I've come across. Coin is supposed to land on both sides an equal number of times?!?!! The HELL?!?! Coins are a game of chance with only two outcomes. The path taken by a person who likes yaoi or yuri, to producing some of their own, to publishing it, online or via some other route, is dependent on hundreds of factors and can arrive at hundreds of different outcomes.

I don't know why this article pisses me off so much. Maybe it's the pretentious essay form, each paragraph with a separate, distinctive idea, except the ideas neither correlate nor synergistically contribute to the argument. And the attempt to finish with grandiose (the quote above) comes across as laughably inept.


I know this is late to say it but.

Recently I've realised.

I. Hate. Stupidity.

Such as above.
mayoraasei: (Ugh)
I laugh with roar!!Ha Ha Ha Ha!said Draco.

Someone said they want to use this in everyday conversation. Join the club!!! *Grin* I laugh with roar!! HA HA HA HA!

All my friends are dead!said Harry.Voldemort appeared. Voldemort is my real father!said Malfoy.Then whos Luscis?said Harry.My step father!said Draco.

*Head desk*

"How? I mean, there's no record of Lily and James Potter of ever having another child." Hermione explained.
"Well, Mum and Dad had me on July 21st and they had Harry ten days later...."


*Buries head in biochem notes*

God, that was either a very long labour or a fricken short gestation.

They were Slytherins; cold, aloof, uncaring... just like the moon. They could not show emotions; the moon did not show emotions, the moon did not cry.

I bet it is now. Poor moon. *Pat pat*

(Gotta love babb-chronicles ^^)

PS: I don't want to sound like a prick about this, but is Scotland really a part of England? ==; Because historically, it emphatically was not. Given past animosities, it's probably not a good idea to say "Scotland's part of England" (ditto with Ireland and Wales and substituted in any order).

O___O

4 Jun 2006 03:50 pm
mayoraasei: There is no such thing as coincidence (Default)
The fic I mentioned yesterday gets a plug all for itself.

PLUG

It's either the best written Harry Potter troll I've ever come across...or the girl has an amazing knack of making the most perfect spelling errors.

Apart from the girl "losing her virility" >_>

She was also "flattened" by Draco serenading her. Hagrid had to keep "shooting at" her to get her to go back to Hogwarts. And her friend, who has a nice body, "had big bobs". Being a "goffic" and a vampire, she tried to commit suicide by driving a "steak" through her heart. It didn't work, apparently.

And she also "speaks Japanese" ("hajimemashite...means how do you do in Jap"...LOL) And randomly punctuates people's deaths with "Kawai"...

Not to mention that people appear to cast their spells with a wonderful array of things...from wombs to wounds and in fact anything but wands.

LOL.

A good way to procrastinate XD
mayoraasei: (Ugh)
God, I really do hope the fic where a girl lost her virility to Draco was a troll ~___~;;;;;;;;
mayoraasei: (Ugh)
1. Some astrophysicist please tell me how many years Harry would take to reach a space station (say, stationed at the edge of the solar system, just to be kind...) if he was flying his Firebolt at 85 miles an hour >___>;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; I do not want to know how he plans on passing those years...like...food...and toiletries....

2. What on earth is "infuriated acid green" supposed to be? >__>; What shade on earth is "acid green" eyes?? (Which acid? >_>)

3. Goodness, it's bad enough that Remus becomes Reamus (do NOT do NOT do NOT read into that)...now Severus has become Severs >__>;;;

4. Hot, even in the context of sexy hot, still only has one t.

5. Hermione would sooner put a pox spell on Draco than to go with him to a pub ==;

6. =__=;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; .......You know...in all of these mpregs...where the baby actually comes to term...and they give birth...and you get graphic details of...the person "pushing"...Where the F@*%&#?!?!? is the baby coming out of?!?! Did they think the uterus is connected to the anus?! (And it is more likely that the...person would break their pelvis and the baby would die within them than...ARGH ARGH ARGH MY BRAIN JUST DIED) ...And after they gave birth (NO NO NO IT'S NOT POSSIBLE), they would most likely be dead. Not grinning.

7. WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP USING THE EXPRESSION "HER LEGS WENT ON FOR MILES"?!?!?!!? Where did this trend start?!?!?!? What the hell does that mean?!?!?!??!?!?! The only reaction people would give to a person whose legs went on for miles is "WHAT A BLOODY FREAK".

8. Hmm, although I have to admit, some of the fic lines that get sporked might just be the sporker's over-reaction. The lines may be very poetic, evoking a lot of romantic imagery, but that's not really a flaw. Especially if the line is spoken to flatter.


========= I am a divider =========


I am pissed off at Host Club 8.


mayoraasei: There is no such thing as coincidence (Default)
Since when is the word "crest" synonymous with chest? ==; It's not an euphemism for breasts ==; On the other hand, one should never write in the narration "she had ample boobs".


========= I am a divider =========


A student of USyd must try the hot dogs some time in their life. It is of excellent quality, almost as good as the Ankh-Morpork ones, in fact. It is, unfortunately, inferior in that the bread is soft, and the colour of the sausages is pink. It does, however, have the unexplainable crunchy bits and the consistency of "you don't want to know what/whose meat is in there" just approximately perfect. Eating it has all the joy of "bite, swallow, don't ask questions". Highly recommended.

(LOL)

(The bread is very soft and fresh, and it probably isn't as bad as I make it sound.)
mayoraasei: There is no such thing as coincidence (Babbo)
Am I the only one who thinks Professor Dumbledore having sex and getting pregnant with Voldemort's kid is a product of a really sicko mind?

=______________=||||||||||||||


I mean, the idea of Dumbledore having sex isn't even....sexually appealing. Who has sexual fantasies concerning wise old male centurions ......GETTING PREGNANT??? FROM HAVING SEX WITH VOLDEMORT? WHO LOOKED LIKE A LIZARD FOR ALL THE MOVIE COULD BOTHER?!



Fanfiction is such a vast and bizarre land of...bizarreness...
mayoraasei: There is no such thing as coincidence (Default)
Harry Potter fanfic synopses
---- "Best of" collection

(Courtesy of Union Recorder...as written by the fanfic authors themselves, probably originating from a gathering place of highly intelligent and creative individuals, of course.)

[sic] and all:

* Draco and Harry are twins they were male morn in St. Merlin's hospital for male pregnancies.

* Brindi Lin Holliday Kariell was born naturaly, like most children are, except for the part about being burried six feet underground three days before she was born.

* "Don't judge a man until you've walked to moons in his moccasins," Ixchell the Anchoress warned Ron. What a grim omen that was.

* "I don't know where I belong!" Caleigh shouted exasperatedly. "What?" Draco asked, daring her to go on. "You belong in Slytherin, of course!" She stared at him for a moment, then glanced behind his shoulder, into the Great Hall. "Unless," he continued. "You believe Harry Potter has a much better life to give you." Eyes bulged, Caleigh looked back at the blonde with unimaginable features. He nodded with sinister intentions. "It's true. You are Potter's wench."

* Draco sends Harry to the store for ice cream and carrots, but he doesn't come back the same.

* Harry decides to be a vegetarian because of an accident that occured dealing with Ron and a pig.

* Harry wakes up in WHO's bed!

* Hrrry is raised by lions. Typical right? Not when Harry grows up in Africa, never knowing his ture heritage......

* If you love Sirius half as much as I do, this could make you cry. I would cry, but I haven't cried in years, so I forgot how too. Do me a favor; if you cry for Sirius, make sure you cry for me too, okay. Thank you, it's much appreciated.

* This is the world, of Ron Stoppable.

* A Harry/Hermione songfic of tragic proportions.

* Draco and Harry are sent to help the Slayer with an occuring evil. Sparks fly between Draco and Buffy. May or may not be as good as it sounds.

* Harry's life was miserable untill he met a bad- ass witch from Texas.



It just proves for once and for all that fanfiction is the best form of entertainment ever since stupidity was first invented.
mayoraasei: There is no such thing as coincidence (Default)
I've been having trouble getting to Fanfiction.net...I think it's an emphatic omen for me to stay the hell away from that place.

But I'm having a serious craving of wanting to read other people's writing...even if it's terrible slash-fic. At least that will motivate me to dig a grave for myself.

Went to Kino about 2-3 days ago. Was very shocked to find out that Black Cat ended at volume 20! And Zettai Kareshi at volume 5! And Kare First Love as well... I think my interest in KFL evaporated after she was caught at a shop buying a pregnancy test thingo.

Wants stuff to read =___= For some reason, I've been staying away from published books and such. I think I'm in the mindset that if I read an amateur's writing, I have less to gripe about than finding the same faults in a publication.

Maybe I'll entertain myself by writing my own stuff. Haha. =____=|||

==========================================================================


PS: Someone who's good with biology please tell me if it's theoretically possible to be 1/3 of anything, if you're first and foremost a human...

==========================================================================


PPS: Someone please tell me too, that the content of iron in blood is higher than copper? (How did I pass biology anyway?) But what's with the coppery taste of blood people go on about? Why would no one say it's ferric? It's discrimination against iron! Just because it doesn't sound quite as romantic...I mean, "copper curls" always are preferred to "iron curls" for some reason...

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