11 Mar 2017

mayoraasei: There is no such thing as coincidence (Squeak?)
Maybe it's my stuffed nose or my week of sleep deprivation, but it was quite possibly the most unexciting 2 hours of entertainment I've sat through in the last year.

I've been fond of Eddie Redmayne since Les Miserables and the rather stunning (?mouth-gaping) The Danish Girl, but he managed to hit the awkward and anti-social Newt on the nail...because he's just as forgettable and charmless.

The two women are equally forgettable yet also manage to be grating in addition. The main girl (whose name I swiftly banished out of my short term memory as soon as I finished watching, might have been Louise or Tina or something) must be one of the most annoyingly useless female inspectors in a major role to grace the big screen.

The only one who had any real charm was the Muggle. The fantastic beasts and the fantastical world in question took too long to appear. Newt's suitcase reveal should have happened at least 30 minutes earlier, and not after a 1 hour trawl through an exposition-heavy introduction.

Because of how long the movie was, it hadn't been clear from the outset that the orphans were going to be a major plot point, I failed to develop any sympathy for the kids, who managed more creepiness than innocence.

Without wishing to waste any more words on this movie, it was a decent optical spectacle but the fantasy came too late and the emotional core was curiously absent. And there's Johnny Depp being Johnny Depp...

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